Spiders on Drugs
Meth versus Alcohol: One Mans Testimony
There is no rule that says humour and drug repair and recovery don’t mix. Personally I don’t remember detox to be particularly hilarious, but with hindsight I can see plenty of funny moments of the ridiculous. Bearing in mind that laughter is a great medicine, indulge in as much as you can.
“The All New Ageing Youth Powder”
Meth amphetamine is a bad drug. Young people have it and end up with brains the size of a 70-year-old’s brain, which I think is amazing. I don’t think it’s amazing that drugs can shrink your brain to the size of a 70-year-old brain but I do find it amazing that a 70-year-old human brain is smaller than a 20-year-old brain. Imagine if you had meth amphetamine when you were young and then lived to 90 years old! You’re brain would be rattling around your head like a dried pea in a umpire’s whistle or like a dropped plectrum inside a guitar-body, and if the doctors wanted to check your brain size they’d either have to blow very hard into your nostrils or pick you up and shake you until your brain fell out of your hole.
I’m glad meth amphetamine wasn’t around when I was a young person because by now I’d be spending every morning wandering around the house looking for my brain, which would again be lying on my pillow but I wouldn’t have thought to look there because I would be out of my brain, and it out of me. I’d also have to put flywire over the plughole before I did the dishes or had a shower, not that I shower in the sink but I sometimes do the dishes in the shower and, let’s face it, if I had a brain shrunken that bad from meth amphetamines I’d probably be happily doing a load of dishes in the washing machine, washing my clothes in the toilet and taking a dump while pegged onto the clothesline but only until the smoke alarm went off after my socks popped up from the toaster at which time I’d kick-back for a couple of hours and watch the microwave.
No, I don’t have to worry about the effects of meth amphetamines because it wasn’t around when I was a youngster and there’s no way I’m going to waste precious drinking time by smoking an insidious, brain-shrinking powder…that’s what cigarettes are for. The good thing about the old drug called, alcohol, is that it’s legal and, if you drink enough of it, it will pickle and preserve your brain and then you can quietly sit and watch-it watch-you from inside a bell-jar on the windowsill of your ward. The downside is I’ve drunk so much alcohol my liver has moved into a separate bedroom and my heart is taking rumba-lessons to get its timing right… but as long as it’s legal, it must be doing us good. So, 3 cheers for alcohol and let’s all drink to that, but make sure you don’t drive… unless you’re well under 70 years young… or you’ve run out of cigarettes.
You may laugh more by following the link to Vic’s website, below;